One Breath At A Time.

2 to 6 months to live.
How can anyone possibly put a limit on ones life? This is something I will never understand, nor do I think it is something I am supposed to understand. Although I can’t comprehend, I am being forced to face this reality.

July 31st, 2010.
My wedding day.
I felt so blessed for so many reasons on this day. One reason being that my grandparents were there to witness the occasion. Because my maternal grandmother had passed away 11 years ago, my paternal grandparents are all I have. I can't count on all my fingers and toes how many times I thanked God for the blessing of having my MiMi & PaPa present on this day. I now know truly what a huge blessing that was.

October 20th, 2010.
            Yesterday I received a phone call that will haunt me forever. My dad called to tell me that my grandpa has been diagnosed with a bone marrow disease that will eventually rob him of life in roughly 2-6 months. My grandpa fell a few weeks after my wedding and was admitted to the hospital. He has not left since.
            I was blessed with the opportunity to go home and be with him in the hospital for one month. This is another blessing I can't thank God for enough. I became even more aware of his beautiful spirit as I sat next to him and watched him joke and laugh his way through the hardest of days. I am not sure how we as a family are supposed to make it through this, or how one is supposed to live life when someone you love so much has been given a time limit on their life.
            All I can do is thank the Lord for the amazing 23 years I have been blessed to call him my PaPa. I will praise God for each new day that this world is graced with PaPa’s presence. Thank you Lord for each moment he has. Let us see the beauty in the present. Let us not dwell on the unknown of the future.

I guess that in this life, all we have is time.
Time to love.
There is not time to fight and argue and waste beautiful minutes over the things that are meaningless. I am learning this hard lesson. But I can't even waste time on regretting moments I myself have wasted on meaningless nonsense. It's not worth it. The past is the past...all we have is today.
One breath at a time...

The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge. He is my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.

Psalm 18:2